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Imagine that you are on a date. You have been talking for hours about your favorite movies and how many times you’ve seen them, but the other person hasn’t said anything at all. They just keep listening to what you say. What would be going through your mind?
“This person is so boring!” they might think. “I can’t stand this anymore.” It’s easy to feel like the only thing someone cares about is hearing themselves speak- we’re all guilty of it sometimes! But there’s something much more important happening in those moments: Listening actually helps people learn new things and improve their thinking skills!
If you’re thinking about skipping this article because it’s on listening, don’t. You’ll actually learn something new! The next time someone talks to you and just listens without interrupting or judging what they say, remember that they may be learning more than you realize. They might just need some help getting the words out- but there is always a way around this if your listener isn’t ready to speak yet: make eye contact with them and ask how everything is going in their day so far; offer up an idea for conversation based on the last thing discussed (i.e., “What are your thoughts on X?”). These small actions can go a long way towards making people feel heard when they want to talk but aren’t sure how.
The next time someone talks to you and just listens without interrupting or judging what they say, remember that they may be learning more than you realize. They might just need some help getting the words out- but there is always a way around this if your listener isn’t ready to speak yet: make eye contact with them and ask how everything is going in their day so far; offer up an idea for conversation based on the last thing discussed (i.e., “What are your thoughts on X?”). These small actions can go a long way towards making people feel heard when they want to talk but aren’t sure how.
These small actions can go a long way towards making people feel listened too when they want to talk but aren’t quite sure how.
The next time someone talks to you and just listens without interrupting or judging what they say, remember that they may be learning more they want to talk but aren’t sure how.
The next time someone talks to you and just listens without interrupting or judging what they say, remember that they may be learning more than you think.
Below are some tips on listening well:
-Nod your head in acknowledgement of their words while also maintaining eye contact; this helps the person know that you’re paying attention to them and not distracted by anything else around you. If someone does this for me it makes my heart swell with appreciation! It’s a small gesture but an inherent one nonetheless. -Ask follow up questions if there is something unclear about what the speaker wants listeners to understand from their story or perspective (i.e., “What do you mean by that?” or “What happened next?”). -Repeat back what the speaker said to make sure they know you’ve been paying attention (i.e., “So, from what I hear, it sounds like this really impacted your sense of safety and security”).
Those are just a few ways to show someone through listening how much value their voice has in your life–even when it’s hard for them to find words at times. We’re all capable of doing amazing things together so don’t forget about our capacity for empathy!
Tips on How To Listen Well: * Nod head while maintaining eye contact; ask follow-up questions if there is something unclear about what the speaker wants listeners to understand from their words; and repeat back what the speaker said to make sure they know you’ve been paying attention.
* Don’t interrupt (except when it’s important to do so, e.g., someone is in danger)
-Don’t be afraid of silence or pausing: sometimes people need time before being able to continue sharing their thoughts with others. Respect that pause! If a person appears anxious about having nothing more to say, then ask them something like “What are your thoughts at this point?” You can also use reflective listening techniques such as repeating parts of what was just heard back — but avoid doing all the talking yourself, if possible!
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-Don’t be afraid of silence or pausing: sometimes people need time before being able to continue sharing their thoughts with others. Respect that pause! If a person appears anxious about having nothing more to say then ask them something like “What are your thoughts at this point?” You can also use reflective listening techniques such as repeating parts of what was just heard back — but avoid doing all the talking yourself if possible!
**Dont be Afraid To Be Uncomfortable **You will never learn anything new without stepping outside your comfort zone.
-Empathy is key: always remind yourself that you are listening to a person, not just hearing words or phrases. Imagine what life might be like for the other person and how they feel when talking about certain topics — do their words match up with feelings?
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